I'm Not That Girl
by XxfallingdeeperXx
Summary: Don't dream too far, don't lose sight of who you are...


Not That Girl

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Wicked, and I do NOT own SVU, and I-*reads prompt*-OH FORGET IT! *throws carrots at Wolf*

**I was watching Wicked in English today. I LOVE the song "I'm Not That Girl". MY FAV Broadway song ever! Makes me sad and happy every time. And this is pretty sad and ATTENTION! I AM anti-E/K but Wolf will never understand Elliot needs to leave the blonde bitch, so...sigh, lovesick warning! First person.**

"Elliot, this is Olivia Benson, your new partner." I heard my new captain say as I stared at the blue eyed marvel standing in front of me as he looked up at me. He took my hand and shook it softly with a forced smile.

"Nice to meet you." I smiled back. "Likewise." It was then that he stared right into my eyes, with a different look. His smile looked genuine that time. "It's really nice to meet you."

A few hours after, we were sitting at their desks, chatting casually about our lives since it was a slow day. "So...you got any kids?" I didn't mind if he was married in the past. I loved kids. "Four of them. Being cared for by my lovely wife right now." My heart sank. "Oh." He pushed a picture of them towards me, and I couldn't help but smile. "They're beautiful."

"Your kids must be beautiful too." he chuckled. I was silent. "...I don't...have kids." His eyes widened at me. "You're kidding right? Not even a husband? You sure look like you should have at least one." I smirked and turned pink at his compliment.

_Hands touch, eyes meet  
Sudden silence, sudden heat  
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl  
He could be that boy  
But I'm not that girl_

"I can see you're having trouble comprehending he's married." a woman said behind me. I turned and bit my lip. "I'm Jeffries. That's John Munch, unfortunately, my partner." she sighed as she pointed to an older man. "Aw, you love me!" he scoffed. I chuckled as I watched Jeffries roll her eyes and turn back to me.

"I'm gonna tell you something, sweetheart. You'll get used to it. Just don't dream, and no matter how much your first handshake or touch made you full of joy, don't lose sight of the fact it can't be." The woman may have been trying to help me out, but it only made my heart break a little more.

Well, what was the difference from this man and all the others. I mean, he could be that one guy for anyone. But...obviously not me.__

Don't dream too far  
Don't lose sight of who you are  
Don't remember that rush of joy  
He could be that boy  
I'm not that girl

A few weeks ahead, I had been getting a hang of being around this group of strange detectives and all these cases. I've learned to control myself with victims. But especially with the way Elliot was acting around me. I started tearing up at this one little girl who was raped by her stepfather.

He took my hand gently and held it, brushing his thumb over my knuckles.

Again, he was trying to give me a calming gesture, but it was only breaking my heart more. Was I really falling for this guy so easily?__

Ev'ry so often we long to steal  
To the land of what-might-have-been  
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel  
When reality sets back in

"El, come on!" I knew we both loved it when I called him that. "Crime scene on Chelsea!" He nodded and moved to follow me when a raspy but soft and motherly voice sounded through the hallway. "Elliot!" I watched with helplessness as my partner's wife ran down the hall to him.

He embraced her in a warm hug, making me feel so alone. "You forgot your wallet." He grinned humorously. "Thanks, Kath." He softly kissed her and said goodbye, as I watched her trot away, her golden hair with a soft curl bouncing delicately.

As he walked past me, I was frozen. "Well, are we going or not?" I swallowed to hide my sadness. "Yeah, let's go."

_Blithe smile, lithe limb  
She who's winsome, she wins him  
Gold hair with a gentle curl  
That's the girl he chose  
And Heaven knows  
I'm not that girl_

Laying on the bed in my apartment, I looked out my window. The whole city sky was drenched in dark blue and white stars. Tears formed in her eyes. Five years into the making, Elliot and I had been partners.

I stared at an individual star and reminisced on wishing on it. But then my heart crushed.

I shouldn't wish. I shouldn't begin. It would only make me break a little more. But tears started to stream down my face as I stared at a picture of him and I at a picnic with his family.

With blind sadness and heartache, I chucked the frame at the wall, buried my face in the pillow, and cried. __

Don't wish, don't start  
Wishing only wounds the heart  
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl  
There's a girl I know  
He loves her so  
I'm not that girl

I had fallen for this man.

**Awww. *ducks carrots* Hey, hey, hey! In retrospect, I was in a pissy mood about the whole E/O because I was watching House and SVU, and I realized that the couples I was shipping for were not appearing! And I was ANGRY! And I take my anger out on fics, so stop drinking Haterade and review!**


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